Dancing with Myself

in sheer ecstasy, we become unaware of where or what we are

2010-02-18T23:45:00.013+11:00

Bi-curious is a term used to refer to someone who does not identify as bisexual or homosexual but feels or shows some curiosity in a relationship or sexual activity with someone of the same sex. The term can also apply to a person who generally identifies as homosexual but feels or shows some interest in having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

Bisexuality is sexual behavior or an orientation involving physical or romantic attraction to both males and females. It is one of the three main classifications of sexual orientation, along with a heterosexual and a homosexual orientation. Individuals who lack a strong sexual attraction to either sex are known as asexual.

So yea, I realised that outta all the uncertainty and curiosity, on average, most people are bi-curious to a certain degree and probably not as bisexual than they thought they were, speaking off all the typical failed bisexual high school/ college experiments.

After watching a couple of recorded videos of personal experiences Youtube, one of which included a black woman talking about how highly bi-curious she was that she would just be so into girls enough do them but not have deep sexual feelings but always craving for them. However, she still admits that she would still prefer guys in the end.

What was more astounding was that I saw a real transgender who thoroughly enjoy fucking both men and women who was being interviewed by Skyy John himself. She or he,( ok maybe Shim) already had her/his boobs done which are just humongous and he/her still has a dick and was wearing a mini skirt when he/she was being interviewed. Worse still, he/she is a porn star! Skyy showed a couple of clips of her which did prove that she had a bit of the air going on but you would definitely suspect that there's something awkward about how too indulged she is in impressing the viewers. (that was from my senses)

It's disgusting to imagine them having sex. (as in transgender) I'm sure there's tons of videos which I have never dared to watch on free random porn websites. (then again, maybe I should for once).

For me to look down on them like that is simply cruel. I understand that they are human beings like any one of us but having a female sex organ on top and a male one at the bottom?! Sex for them must feel like at a whole different experience.

At times, I feel disappointed that I feel so disgusted sometimes and sadder for all those people out there who thoroughly don't accept them and see them as some sort of creature/animal/sinful beings from hell. Then again, what bout drag queens, transvestites, cross dressers, androgyne, girlfags and guydykes? Seems that there's a lotta more to digest than I thought...

following me in shame ever since you sang me a lullaby

2010-02-14T23:37:00.004+11:00

We don't get to choose who we are related to nor do we get to have a direct confrontation of detestation towards them or ignore them because we'll still have to face them at least once a year. That's my only option for now, not until maybe I find my other half.

It sickens me how mature we thought an adult should be, could still act as childish as 10 year old. It sickens me to see how ignorant and disabled someone could be given the circumstances that have been independently living without parents and earning their own living for decades. It sickens me more how close to me they could be and yet I can't do anything about it without hurting someone back.

Worse thing is it scares me knowing that I'm not far from tripping and falling so low like that if I take the wrong step or make a wrong turn in life. For choosing or letting go of options placed directly in front of me or even options that are required an extra effort to find out.

I admit, I'm afraid of regrets and making mistakes. I know in a couple of years, even months, everybody will move on. Some will find out that their future paths will be a smooth ride on, some will find short cuts or bumps or even road blocks.

Everybody is will grow up, everybody will move on but even if I'm left behind in the working world, I know it wouldn't matter because I'll be right along them on a different road ahead...

we are all greedy

2009-07-15T13:12:00.001+10:00

When is enough ever gonna be enough?

everything

2009-05-16T22:33:00.005+10:00

Every time you feel like you want something
or regret something
or wish for something
or yearn for something
or lost something
or envy something
or is still searching for something,

don't give up trying to get it...

but
just don't beat yourself up and feel really bad about it.

We just can't have absolutely EVERYTHING in life

a reason

2009-05-04T23:42:00.005+10:00

I use to like feeling useful

I use to like keeping myself occupied, really occupied.

I use to like keeping track on my schedules

I use to like to feel like I'm needed
like I was important to something or someone
to belong somewhere
to have a purpose
to help someone, anyone to feel good about themselves

I need a reason.

I think I'm tired of being a bum.
It's been a long rest

and I thought I was tired of being all the reasons for everything.

something anything just to keep believing
just to keep me breathing for a moment longer
-Travis

so easy so tipsy. so tipsy so easy.

2009-04-24T07:23:00.012+10:00

Yesterday they were giving out FREE air brush tattoos...! How cool is that? ;)
The last time I got one I had to pay like S$30-40 dollars just to get a decent sized one.

I wanted to get a few but after asking for more after the second one, the lady kinda indirectly tried to stop me by telling me that she had to do it for the other girl waiting in line first before she can come back to me.
Damn!

I couldn't really get them on other places on my body because it was held at the student lounge and I felt weird taking out too much clothes because I had so many layers on. LOL
This is so tempting me to get a real one really really soon now.. :P

Our marketing tutor was so nice to let us finish up early to queue up for FREE Nando's too.. :)
I heart my Uni. :)

I was pretty pissed off with my test too. It didn't go as well as I expected and I knew I could have done better if I studied a little harder. :(

Drinking and playing cards all night long to compensate it too. :))
(12 beer bottles, Japanese wine and a deck of cards)*yummy

it should be simple

2009-04-22T00:44:00.011+10:00

I wonder why do some people get so attached and take relationships (bf/gf) so seriously even at such an early age.
I'm not saying I don't give a shit about it nor do I take it like its a life and death situation

It seems that from we were kids, the impression waiting for our ever so perfect in every way other half to sweep us off our feet, marry us and have kids and just be one big happy family has always been cemented in our heads for being part of every fairy tale love story which we seem to believe that reality would portray the same image too.

Why are we so serious in finding "THE ONE"?
Why are we so fussy in even choosing "THE ONE"?

If we're 30 years old, I reckon you should be worried but hang on a minute, we're not even 25 yet.

but

Why are we so afraid of getting our hearts broken?
Why must we put guys through a long and torturous test to finally allow them to realize that you're just not that into him?

I realized that if you like somebody, you just like somebody.
Just as simple as that.
You don't have to think too hard unless you really don't know that person too well yet.
So why don't get to know him/her first and not leave him/her waiting.

If he/she doesn't like you back, you can try a little, just a little harder but if things are pretty clear cut, take some time off, then move on...

After all, life's not worth bruiting over someone who didn't like you back. You'll just seem pathetic in the long run and you'll be wasting your time and other opportunities to do so many wonderful things out there.

If you're afraid to love again, you'll never know how amazing it would feel to be loved in return again.

So what if you'll lose them someday? I doubt nothing can replace those breathtaking moments that you had with the other half in the previous times.

being ill = no fun

2009-04-21T15:13:00.003+10:00

Lately, I've been pretty busy with tests and assignments ever since the previous trip. Currently down with a bad flu, cough and sore throat and it doesn't seem to get better yet.
I was suppose to donate blood yesterday but I'm too polluted to go for it AGAIN. :(

This week's the Sex It Up week.
They're having lotsa free lunches and events for it and the whole student lounge is decorated with fluffy pink queen size beds and ribbons.
Also, there's like the drag queen show, fake boob and dildo throwing contests, safe sex and sex positions presentations, interviewing a stripper, tattoos, speed dating and tons more. Seems really interesting right?

Thursday night's gonna be the Fetish Party too. I really wanna go check it out but I doubt I can being in the state that I am in right now.. sobs

great ocean road

2009-04-17T18:36:00.003+10:00

Past few days we took the V/Line Train to go all the way to Warrnambool where the Great Ocean Road is.

We rented a big beach house which fitted the 16 of us. I think there were about 8-9 bedrooms and 3-4 bathrooms.
We had bbq and booze which wasn't enough.
We stayed for 3 days and 2 nights.

Most of the time it was just lotsa sightseeing, enjoying the beach, played soccer until I fractured the joint which connects my 4th baby toe to my foot and did tons of walking/ limping.. :)

margaritas, strippers & the city

2009-04-11T18:46:00.002+10:00

Yesterday we had a BIG brunch.
Pancakes with butter, honey and strawberries (made from scratch), eggs with mushrooms, bacon and sausages.
It was so good! We started cooking at 10am plus until 12.
We had a couple of friends over for our feast too and we were all so stuffed up until dinner.

That night we went to the city to Taco Bill where they have giant margaritas for 1/2 the price from 5-7pm(happy hour). Drinking so much made us felt so dizzy.. It tasted so good. At first it just tasted like juice but after a while you can start tasting the tequila. *Yummy!
After that we went to Spearmint Rhino Gentlemans Club which was a strip club.
It wasn't like a dodgy place or anything. It's pretty high end like those strip clubs that Christian Troy from Nip/Tuck goes to.
(secretly took this)

In the middle of the club was a stage and pole where the strippers continuously take turns to dance and slowly strip around.
There were other strippers who were on the floor bugging the audience for a lap dance and all. Most of them were pretty good looking but only some had really hot bodies.
There was this stripper that kept bugging Han and I for a lap dance which was so annoying because she's like this tall dumb blond girl who was a little awkward.

I was eyeing this stripper who had a really hot body. She's blond, pretty petite but she had abs and the sexiest cute round butt along with her baby looking face.
My cousin set Han and I up for a lap dance with her.
They brought us to a special room and she started on me first then on Han next.
It was quite an experience though. :) Her name's Chissy.

There was this other Indian looking stripper but she's actually Australian with some Spanish blood. She's just so hot! My naughty cousin set her up with his girlfriend's brother who was eyeing her the entire time she was dancing on stage.

It was weird having naked girls walking around so confidently in their platform stilettos though.

Today we went to the city to get some stuff because everything was close yesterday and will be close tomorrow too because of Good Friday and Easter.
We went to so many vintage 2nd stores just to check them out.

(This is like a shelf full of coke stuff coming back from years ago.)

the first month

2009-04-09T19:50:00.003+10:00

Yesterday was our one month anniversary.
It felt as though its been a long time yet only a month has passed.
We've only met each other for a month plus but it feel as though we knew each other for a while.

From me. (much be hella surprised right? seeing me as such a "banana")

From him.
It seems so cheesy but I guess it's good to celebrate these kinda things to show how much we appreciate each other.

the 101th post

2009-04-06T09:49:00.005+10:00

In days which are so crystal clear, the haze comes passing through.

In days where everything seems perfectly fine, the sun will stop shining.

In days where you have quiet moments, a crowd comes rushing through.

In days where I was so sure, a single doubt will come to my mind.

Just don't forget the past.
Remember how it started.
Remember what made it good.
Remember that you'll find it back.
Remember what made you happy in the very first place.

i got soul but I'm not a soldier

2009-04-05T07:32:00.004+10:00

Yesterday V Festival was unbelievable!
Four stages from 1-10pm... We caught Duffy, M83, Razorlight, Kaisr Chiefs, Snow Patrol and The Killers!!!

There were so many more artists but we did not have time to slot them in. Going on for so many hours with only a total of 2 hours break in between for food and toilet.We arrived a lil late but just in time to catch Duffy. She sounds so good live! Its really true that she has such a powerful and unique voice.

M83 was held in a covered area so it was a whole experience. It seriously felt a slight bit of what I felt during live trance DJ events because I was like standing right in front, being able to have the first hand of everything.
We caught a little bit of Razorlight and Kaiser Chiefs but our bladders couldn't withstand staying any longer. While watching all the locals being so hyped up about them, you'll have no no doubt on them being such good performers.It was already dark when Snow Patrol and The Killers came. Snow Patrol's performance was really magical. They played a lot of their all time famous singles with beautiful visuals on the screen and they were just such good crowd entertainers.
The Killers was the biggest event of the day being the last, the longest and having the biggest crowd. They played a mixture of old and new songs... Most of them are familiar to me because I had their old album. Really regretted not following them since high school but they seriously made me fall in love with them all over again.

I brought my camera with literally No Battery. Stupidly, I really left the battery at home, forgetting to remove it from the charger so I couldn't really get good pictures which was a huge disappointment as a lot of pictures were actually much more close up.
On and on, it was thoroughly worth all my money I spent including buying 2 t-shirts.. :)

We didn't spend on booze at all though because they night before we've been drinking at a friends place while munching on tons of junk.
I finally weight myself too, my heart almost dropped outta my chest when I looked at the scale for the results.

the hurtful fall

2009-04-01T08:20:00.003+11:00

Let's just say that you're paddling along the rivers...
The waves are really mild, you're starting to really enjoying the breeze and the atmosphere.
While taking your own sweet time, not rushing the moment and hoping that it'll last forever, it seem like the more you paddle, the waves starts to get strong, the winds starts to blow faster, pushing you further and further forward along river bank...
Then when you finally turn your head straight ahead, you realized that the river is starting to end to a cliff, falling slowly to a huge waterfall.
You know somehow know it'll reach this point where everybody will soon jump off and enjoy the big splash below but instead, you end up hitting the rocks, bleeding through and drown.

It's difficult to even think of going on the second ride. It's even tougher to even think about the last pain you had to go through.
Even if you were convinced to go again, you can't help but hold back. Guarding your mind and heart that there might be a possibility that it might hurt again.
It seems pretty unfair as you wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the moment when it really comes to be a blissfully nice splash, being able to feel the fast adrenaline rush to your head and basically the whole experience.

You tell yourself to let go. Let go off the fear, let go of that bad subconscious feeling that might happen to you but not matter how hard you try, it keeps coming back to you, secretly whispering into you ears, trickling down your veins, scaring the shit outta you...

guilty pleasures

2009-03-30T22:11:00.003+11:00

Its funny how we always had principles on things. Whether it be about how we do certain things, how we should carry ourselves, how we should love, how we should connect to others, how we should earn respect from others, etc.. etc...

Sooner or later we realize that we're always changing in terms of mindsets. Things being bad doesn't seem too bad anymore.. Things being good seem to be dull and boring. Then we start being all confuse again, back to when we were kids when we were used to listening to our parents differentiating the good and bad.

Half way through it, the guilt comes in then we're finally numb...

busy long weekend

2009-03-30T21:52:00.002+11:00

It's been a busy and fun weekend as usual.
Friday, we went to Chadstone to buy necessities and I spent a little too much again changing my facial products. I'm not too sure whether its the weather or the lousy products I was using or maybe just my hormones going wild but little pimples and black heads are starting to pop up again especially on my chin and its really getting on my nerves.
That night, my cousin suddenly called us to join them for some shisha'ing at the city.
It's in Lygon St at Min Zaman (a lebanese restaurant), one that thoroughly specialises in shishas.

They even had belly dances for entertainment but that night we got the butt ugly one. The services was pretty crappy but the shisha's were superb! Never thought I would enjoy them as much.
That night we took the Night Rider straight home from the city itself. We were so chilled out that night, scrolling along the streets eating Mc Donald' french fries while watching all the young adults acting like fools on the street. Some were half drunk, some were just high and some were even screaming outta their cars at others for no reason but it was just a different atmosphere pass midnight. The city was still very much alive.

The next day we were suppose to celebrate my housemate's birthday at Luna Park, near St Kilda beach.
They were all late because they went clubbing until 6am so we chilled along the beach watching people sun bathing and playing with sand. It was really sunning yet it was still very chilly.

That night we were suppose to go to the city for Earth Hour but we were dead tired so we planned to check out Uni instead because they were having African dances and juggles and stuff.
In spite of that, we ended up at Han's friend's place drinking VB and chatting the night away. hee...

I had such bad cravings for all sorts of food yesterday so I had to work my butt out at the gym today.
337 calories gone.. All on the cross trainer and bicycle. I never enjoyed doing cardio workouts and always avoided it by doing weights. Oh well, being such a fat ass.. I better start working on it.

I heart my Uni

2009-03-26T00:20:00.003+11:00

Sometimes, I think my UNI is super cool.
They have things like Survivor Week for fresh students to survive the beginning of UNI life so they won't be too stress over the environment change.

They had like a pre-loved items and cheap bargains sale on the common lawn yesterday. It was so cool because they had like tons of vintage stuff, cheap winter accessories, 2nd hand DVD's and funky handmade accessories.
I bought a pair like a pre-loved Doc Martens' eye boots, two sunnies and 3 pairs of knee length woolen socks to wear with my boots.. :)
They were even giving out free Pizza's and massages as well as carrying out Yoga classes in the middle of the field.
Today, they had self defence classes.

The Monster booksale is on again...
Basically I managed to scan the whole stall twice, looking through unique and cheap books that they don't usually have at home.
Only bought a novel and found a really hip book which is about the history of the Hip Hop Generations which I knew Han would love.

I'm so happy the Gryph Inn Bar & Bristro has finally reopened again.
At least now there's like another decent place to chill on campus other than Mama Duke's.

Don't you think my UNI is super cool.. :D

This saturday is going to be earth hour where they're gonna switch off all the electricity for an hour. We're still deciding on whether to gather in UNI or the city.
It's gonna be an awesome weekend again.

tagged

2009-03-22T11:00:00.003+11:00

001. Real Name: Cheah Su Jen
002. Nickname(s): Jen, nippie
003. Age: 19yrs 8 months 17days
004. Horoscope: Gemini (the twins)
005. Gender: female
006. Elementary: Some dumb kindy at Larkin. It has already been abolished a couple of years back already
007. Primary School: SRK Infant Jesus Convent J.B.
008. Secondary School: SMK Infant Jesus Convent J.B. (pure convent girl.. :)
009. College: Sunway University College (did Ausmat there)
010. Hair Colour: extremely dark... brown. Pretty much close to black. (all natural)
011. Hair Length: pretty long but not too long. somewhere at my bra strap level
012. Loud or Quiet: hmmm... Seriously I think more I'm more to the quiet side. Only with close friends, I can get pretty chirpy
013. Sweats or Jeans : leggings and tight jeans. (big tights need them)
014. Phone or Camera: phone... all accessible
015. Health Freak: cautious but not a freak (first things first, I hate vegetables)
016. Drink or Smoke: drink :) hee hee. Never smoke before. only shisha...
017. Do you have a crush on someone: currently, no.
018. Eat or Drink: This is hard. I drink lotsa water though. I love to eat but I hate feeling guilty after.
019. Piercings: 3 on the right ear, 2 on the left (1 more at the top was covered) & my navel. ;)
020. Tattoos: ooohhhh.... been thinking of getting one for quite a while. still a virgin on this.
021. Social or Anti-Social: hmmm.... really depends on my mood.
022. Righty or lefty: pure righty in everyway. my left is retarded but I do try sometimes
023. First piercing: when I was in sec 2 I think, started then and went on & on after that
024. First relationship: erm, I think we finally became official when I was on College. It happened in a taxi. lol
025. First Best Friend: It should be from kindy. I have a feeling it was my made up kindy "boy-friend"
026. First Award: It was in Club Med. I was only 5 or 6 I think. Got 2nd place in archery. Was so proud because I hit a bulls-eye but it dropped off. I was the youngest in the club too. :)
027. First Kiss: lol.. real kiss? It form 5 I think. At the staircases of a shopping mall. (how embarrassing *blushing)
028. First Pet: fishes... !!! tons and tons of them in different colours.
029. First Big Vacation: Definitely Singapore when I was young. Went there every weekend with my parents. Back then, I thought it was a nice family day trip. Nowadays, its just for casual shopping. lol
030. First Love at first sight: I don't quite believe that you could just fall in love with somebody by looks. You gotta know the person a little first even if sparks were already flying at the first glance.
031. First Big Birthday: My 16th birthday party at my house. I remember we had a bbq, big cake and there were tons of soft drinks and beer sprayed around my head.
032. First Surgery: None. I'm a healthy kid.
033. First sport you joined: When I was young, my parents put me in the swimming pool before I could even walk. The rest was history.

This or That
034. Orange or Apple juice: I hate apples. (maybe because my parents love them so much and knowing the amount of nutrition it'll give you)
035. Rock or Rap: The only rap singer who I really fell in love with was the legendary Eminem but I've always been a fan of Modern/ Alternative Rock. Always been... :)
036. Country or Screamo: erm..more on Country/Folk. Screamo is good when I'm in a pissy mood
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: More of a Westlife fan last time. lol
038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera: My first album was Hit Me Baby one more time but I've always known that Christina was the better singer. Britney is just drama.. drama. drama baby.
039. Night or Day: Evening... :)
040. Sun or Moon: Sun sets...
041. TV or Internet: TV I can live without... Internet? I'll die without.
042. Playstation or xbox: Never played xbox. Grew up with a brother who is PS crazy
043. Kiss or hug: oh... another hard one.. Hugs are really really really comforting but kiss.. ohh.. ;)
044. Iguana or turtle: turtles, definitely. so cute can die.
045. Spider or bee: erm... not a fan of either one
046. Fall or spring: love the flowers in spring... autumn makes me feel v mellow.
047. Limewire or iTunes: Limewire to download my music. I use iTunes to play em so its thoroughly 2 different things
048. Soccer or baseball: Softball for life!!!

Currently
049. Eating: had a bananananana....
050. Drinking: water.. always have my bottle beside me
051. Excitement level: kinda stoning... it's still early here.
052. I'm about to: hopefully get into the mood to do my work
053. Listening to: fan spinning.. Chessy Macy Grey on my itunes
054. Plan for today: Today is suppose to be my work day. been playing too much.
055. Waiting for: Han is call me and complain to him bout my shelve casing.
056. Energy Level: I'm just plain lazy now
057. Thinking of someone: yea... always.. :)
058. Want kids?:yes.. :)
059. Want to get married?: Of course. When the timing is right and when I'm deeply in love with that special someone and feeling so sure bout the future
060. When?: When I've enjoyed my youth and when I'm stable in my carrier.
061. How many kids do you want: 3... no more, no less
062. Any name on the mind: I've always thought of supermodel names for my girls like Giselle, Adriana and so on... lol.
063. What did you want to do: update my photos on facebook..
065. Mellow future or wild: wild... wild.. wild... until when I had enough, mellow
066. Something you would never try: hmmm... eat my shit
067. When do you want to die: When I'm satisfied with life

Which is the better in the boy/girl you like(in the future)
068. Lips or Eyes: Eyes
069. Romantic or Funny?: Funny I guess but the romance has to stay too...
070. Shorter or Taller?: taller... no doubt about this. I myself aint tall... (like what my mama said, the first & main thing is that "he" has to be tall)
071. Protective or Caring?: caring.. I cant stand someone being too sticky and stops me from doing things I want
072. Romantic or Spontaneous?: Spontaneous... sigh but I still want the romance.. once in a while...
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?: arms... *melts but I wouldn't want him to have a big tummy..
074. Sensitive or Loud?: I can't stand loud LOUD people. not too sensitive too
075. Hook-up or Relationship?: Relationship... :) I can't do hook ups unless I'm totally depressed or something
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?: A pinch of naughtiness.
077. Muscular or normal: Muscular... yumm yumm.. but not too much
078. Kissed a stranger: no yet..
079. Broken a bone: A normal guy would be good
080. Glasses or contacts: I'm not a fan of guys having glasses... at all. lol. so contacts, puh-lease...
081. Ran away from home: I love a family guy. no running away, ok?
082. Held a gun/knife for self defence: not into gangsters... unless he's trying to save my life. lol
083. Killed somebody: Not that into those kinda really BAD boys.
084. Broken some one's heart: not mine then it's ok..
085. Had your heart broken: like what I said above..
086. Been arrested: nothing too terrible would be good. I myself aint perfect either.
087. Cried when someone died: perfectly fine....
088. Liked a friend more than a friend: only if it's me.. (sounds so selfish huh?)

Do you believe in
089. Yourself: yea... like most of the time
090. Miracles: I didn't at first but I'm starting to
091. Love at first sight: No... like I said, you gotta know that person.. see whether you guys get along. Plus, I'm really fussy and picky
092. Heaven: I think so...
093. Santa Claus: Bull-shit..
094. Tooth Fairy: for the 1st 8 years of my life, I really did. My parents did a fantastic job on that.
095. Kiss in the first date: lol... yea if the attraction is unbearable
096. Angels: erm... not really..

Answer Truthfully
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now? : yea.. :) always...
098. Are you seriously happy with where you're in life now?: i would give it a rating of 8/10... pretty happy indeed.
099. Do you believe in God? : I think so... I know there's just something out there that's bigger than us.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

in god's eyes, we all stars

2009-03-22T10:17:00.005+11:00

Yesterday we were out the whole day.
Caught He's Just Not That Into You at Melbourne Central. It wasn't too bad... Pretty much like a pinch of Sex and the City and a slice of Love Actually.

After that we went to Melbourne Music Academy for the 5 on 5 break and 2 on 2 Hip Hop Competition.
It was unbelievable!
There was like Hip Hop, Popping and Krumping performances by the judge and the Philippine All Stars crew and others...
Seriously, the technical and creativity of these dances are superb! It can easily beat those I've seen back home hands down!!! No doubt about it....

That night we had dinner and drinks at Han's cousin's place. :)

self-declared holiday

2009-03-18T18:51:00.004+11:00

Today was the VIP Winter Shopping at Chadstone. It started from 9am-10pm
It only happens twice as year so how could I resist???

The only thing that stopped me from shopping was when I ran outta cash and my feet started to hurt from the walking in my boots.

Han got his left eyebrow pierced today because all services in Essential Beauty was 50% off and accessories were at ridiculously low prices so I gladly changed my navel stud too. :)

because of you

2009-03-17T09:18:00.004+11:00

Because you were always there through the ups and downs
because you were always there ever since we were still playing with game boys and fighting over friends
because you were always there through the struggles of puberty
through the times of our greatest achievements and failures
through our happiest and gloomiest days...
and because for being true and honest for who you really are.

and even if we were a million miles apart, I think of this day as a blessing that you came into my life 10 years ago.
I love you, my best friend.

Happy 20th birthday... :)

turning legal

2009-03-15T10:06:00.003+11:00

Past two days we've been celebrating Sonia's 18th birthday.

Friday night was more of having pizza, chilling and having a drinking session.
I was pretty much fucked up by downing vodka.

The next morning, we were suppose to go to Carrum Beach but it started raining the whole afternoon so we gave that a miss.
Later that night we went to Shark's Fin at China town for dinner then to a cafe outside Crown.

little things in life

2009-03-12T10:00:00.005+11:00

Yesterday when I was on the way to class, I heard loud music and cheers coming from the front lawn. Being a busy body, I had to check out what was the commotion about.
The big band was back again. They were like playing under a big tent to keep away from the scorching sun.

Even so, what made me so ecstatic was that Blue Dogs Posters are back on campus!!!
Good opportunity to add to my collection of posters on my room wall.

(mamma mia... hot hot hot!!!)

Last night we had a house meeting with my housemate to organize stuff at my place .
After that, Han called me outside to look at the moon. Seriously, the live version of it is like 10 times more beautiful compared to what I'm showing you now. :)

in the dark

2009-03-10T13:57:00.002+11:00

I've always been a private person.
I was never really keen in the idea of showing the whole world about the state of my relationships, my studies and basically my life.

Being brought up in a small family, its really hard for me to express myself in public.
Even if I do, I'll be doing it to keep in touch with friends with the mainstream Facebook, blogging and recently, Twitter.

I guess when it comes to the concern of another, you gotta give in sometimes.
So yea, don't blame me for displaying private things of myself because you know I'm not like that.
I don't need to show the world who I am really because in fact, I don't really care what people think about me.

Honestly, I never like the pressure it would take on my private life.
People judge and say things. I know that very well because I do it too. Sad to say, very much indeed. It's not because I'm trying to be critical or something. It's just that the more I observe things, the more I learn about life and the way people work, you know?

a start of something beautiful

2009-03-09T17:20:00.001+11:00

Moomba Festival

2009-03-08T18:34:00.005+11:00

Filled with carnival games,
awesome rides,
live gigs,
and sipping hot chocolate while watching fireworks above our heads...

never knew I could feel like this

2009-03-08T17:10:00.006+11:00

there are commas,

sometimes question marks,

and other times even exclamation marks...

but there are no full stops...

no full stops.

back to school

2009-03-07T16:29:00.003+11:00

Seven was having a "Back to School" theme last night
Its been a long time since we danced to r&b in the club.
The queues outside the club were tremendously long but waiting for an hour was pretty worth while because my cousin's on the VIP guest list as usual and got a table.

Danced my heart away... !

nights of wonder

2009-03-05T13:08:00.004+11:00

Coldplay concert was a blast! I wouldn't trade anything for the whole experience.
Every song they sang had special props for them.
The best part was that the band actually came 2 meters away from me and they even ended the whole show with my favorite song from the Viva La Vida album.

Anyway,
last night, we had a dinner gathering for the residents living at my apartment.
It was held at the bar on campus called The Gryph.
Its a really cool place to chill and release stress.

My sexy housemate and I totally rocked the dance floor.

of eternal sunshines & happiness

2009-03-03T10:35:00.003+11:00

It's been a while since I felt this contented and happy.

In a world full of stranger, someone bigger than us out there watching over us.
He's playing little games for us, testing our strength and weakness.
When everything seems all good, we sometimes worry that the bad will come soon after...

Please let me stay in my oblivion of the darker side of that, for I would never want this feeling to go away, ever...

coldplay

2009-03-02T16:45:00.003+11:00

guess who's going to catch the legendary Coldplay tomorrow night???

Gold upper tickets!!!

And up high above and down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth...

:)

2009-03-01T10:26:00.002+11:00

It was a miracle that I felt so energetic yesterday when I only slept for half an hour the night before.
Surprisingly, I never failed to even yawn when it was 3.30am before we all decided to sleep.
Pass few days have been filled with lotsa chilling, shopping, outings & fun.

Life's been good. No worries.

:)

pain in the ass

2009-02-28T11:22:00.002+11:00

Dear Twitter,

Please stop trying to be a little bitch and let me log in.
I've been working on it for countless times but you just won't open up to me like my dear Facebook.
Look here, I'm trying really hard to update myself to let my dear friends know what's going in my life.
Plus, I've been doing you a big favor by asking many of my other friends to sign up under you to make you happy but why are you torturing me like this.

FU.

one of the simple things in life

2009-02-28T11:13:00.002+11:00

honesty.

Just one little word, but do we really pursue it?

the endless race

2009-02-27T01:01:00.004+11:00

In life's endless race, do we need to make everything seem like a competition?
In being the know-it-all,
the most fine looking?
the richest,
the Mr/ Ms Popular.
the everything-must-do person?

Everybody gets involve in some such of competition, in wanting to be the best in anything or at least, something right?
but when is enough, ENOUGH?

Is it when you found someone to replace it all?
or when you find some other competition to be obsess about?
or when you're so tired of it all and finally start falling so fast that you could hardly believe the position you're currently in?

or maybe when you're dead?

by then, it'll be too late to regret and feel bitter about your life...

Back on track

2009-02-26T16:28:00.007+11:00

I just arrived at Melbourne yesterday morning. 7.30 am to be exact, 4.30am back home.
Stupid flight was delayed for an hour and I only managed to shut my eyes for an hour throughout the seven and a half hour journey.
Movies on demand was not working so ended up watching cartoons (HSM 3, Beverly Hills Chihuaha)

Damn you, Qantas.
I trusted you when nobody did... :(

Of you & I

2009-01-16T01:01:00.004+11:00

Every human being was given a virtue: the ability to choose.

Anyone who fails to use this virtue transforms it inti a curse, and others will choose for them.

Every human being has the right to search for happiness, and by 'happiness' is meant something that makes that individual feel content, not necessarily something that makes that makes other people feel content.

Only the following items should be considered to be grave faults:

not respecting another's rights;

allowing oneself to be paralysed by fear;

feeling guilty;

believing that one does not deserve good or ill that happens in one's life;

being a coward

-Paulo Coelho

looking forward

2009-01-05T14:25:00.004+11:00

9-11 January

9 January

Zouk Singapore

2009

2009-01-05T13:57:00.002+11:00

A New Year.

No resolutions?
That's the thing. When I was a "younger" I use to list out my resolutions with full of enthusiasm , thinking that I would fulfill them within that particular
year itself.
I would say that I only manage to accomplished less than half of them most of the time so I really don't see the point in making one. Despite that, I still end up listing out one anyway.

I'm not gonna make one for this year.

I'm 20 years old

And I'm gonna Live My Life!

hating it

2008-12-09T13:37:00.005+11:00

Fucking hell...

I'm damn pissed off.

Sometimes I really hate my job especially when people just want to throw their temper at me, complaining and exaggerating things that are untrue.

Seriously, MOST of the time I'll just shut up and I won't even talk back even when it really gets overboard.

Complaining non-stop even when I'm trying to answer a phone call?!
Come on... I'm not even listening to you and you try to raise your voice to deaf out the person I'm talking to.

I'm not even in charge of all the other stuff. There's no point slamming it at me as thought I can fix it.
Just because you're rich and all, it doesn't mean you can treat others like shit...
On the other hand, even if you're not, I hate it when you act like a big shot.
It doesn't mean that you'll be treated like a king when you're a member.
There are so many other 100 over members to be looked after too.

Bloody hell

*patience...patience...
Breathe!

line up

2008-12-09T12:25:00.003+11:00

I'm so excited.. :)

Zouk Out in Singapore- 13th Dec

Pangkor Trip with college friends - 15th-17th Dec

KL- 18th-19th Dec

a glamorous future

2008-11-18T00:31:00.004+11:00

In the next 10 years...

I will own 100 pairs or more of Jimmy Choo's and Manolo Blahnik's shoes

I will carry Birkin bags

I will drive Jaguars and Porsche's. (My husband will drive a Ferrari)

Each of my business phone calls will cost more than a $50,000 deal

I will eat in fancy restaurants everyday

I will have a walking closet as big as my current bed room.

I will have my own chef, designer/fashion stylist, a few french maids.

I will go for high tea with my other rich friends, buy art in auctions

I really really hope I can live in this kinda luxury in the next 10 years.

you know you love me

2008-11-17T23:31:00.003+11:00

Driving license renewed. CHECK
new TV series. CHECK
New permanent Malaysian number. CHECK (012 7711743)
Collecting my Maybank debit card from mum. CHECK
Signed up for gym membership. Erm.... Kinda CHECK
Indirectly forced to go back to work in the gym.. DEFINITELY CHECK.

I felt so loved today when I went back to the gym. My colleagues all seem to miss me a lot. Hee.

I thought I could just join the student membership today and just go for a good workout but I ended up agreeing to my supervisor to work part time for my gym because they seem to lack a lotta staff ever since Danga City Mall reopened.

Great. Now I'll be working

Mon (6.30am-12pm)

Tue-Thurs (3pm-9pm)

At least I wouldn't be so bored during the holidays and I can earn extra money. Plus it wouldn't be so stressful as I won't be doing sales anymore. Just being in charge of the front desk.

home sweet home

2008-11-15T16:19:00.002+11:00

It weird coming home.

My house never seem so big and pretty. My parent just got back from Bangkok so they bought a lotta stuff to decorate the house.

My fridge looks so huge like its gonna fall on me.

I can actually run across my room or maybe even live in it. The space... the space... mmMMmm!!

I feel warm most of the time. Weather is superb. Its been raining so its pretty cool.
My hair takes ages to dry up though and the toilet is always wet!!
I hate it because the toilet seat takes forever to dry up. Imagine feeling a wet bum all the time when you wanna pee.

and I never felt fatter.
OMFG... I almost died when I saw the face of the weighting machine while standing on it.
and my mum keeps insisting that I'm not fat because I know she loves me being chubby. HMPH!

Damn it.

People here should eat more.
It aint hot being skinny.
Ah lians... Ah bengs.... ewww!!!

guilt

2008-11-13T14:40:00.003+11:00

I never realized how much clothes I had until today.

I always thought I did not have enough because every time I'm about to go out and deciding what to wear, I'll always be thinking that I've got NOTHING to wear.

Even my 3rd year housemate was amazed by the amount I had because I'll only be staying here for 6 months.

I dunno how to face my parents.
I dunno how am I gonna fit all this into my luggage.
I feel so bad putting so much things in my friends place when I go home.

OK, NO MORE shopping when I go back home.
.
.
.
.
erm.. OK, maybe once for the year end sale.

and THAT'S IT.

I hope.

i still believe

2008-11-12T23:38:00.005+11:00

I still believe

in the innocence of every rebellious teenager

in the good in every evil

in the way we could change to whatever we wanna be

I still believe in real love...
not "he's the one" or anybody who comes along ends up being "the one".

Like what Carrie Bradshaw said:

“I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.”

A love with shared passion and pain.
Something real...
where it is more than just the communication or sex or the chemistry
where in 40 years after marriage, there will still be holding hands and missing each other.
A one who will make you feel complete and loves you for who you really are despite anything.

that kind of love.
I believe in it.

hopefully I'll have it in the next 10 years.

just like yesterday

2008-11-12T23:08:00.004+11:00

I can't believe one semester has passed by just like that.

Moving towards another new year,

losing the front number "1" of my age.

learning to find myself

accepting more of who I am

understanding why things don't always go the way you want them to

knowing who are those who really matter in your life

and knowing who feels the same way too

Life is like a roaster coaster
there are always its ups and downs

Despite everything, I feel grateful for who I am,
where I am,
what I am.

I'm not saying I'm perfect.
I know there's always room for improvement in every way.

I'm grateful that "somebody up there" gave me my arms and legs
that he did not make me ugly
or stupid
that he made me healthy
that he made me a girl
and that he placed me in a good family

freedom

2008-11-11T23:26:00.003+11:00

F-R-E-E-D-O-M

smell it!
feel it!
live it!

woot! woot!
Remember when you've been wearing a pair of pretty heels for the entire night while dancing and partying?
Your heel would feel so awful but you try to enjoy yourself and look pretty and after everything, you finally get to remove them...
Ahh..

That's what I'm feeling now...

the Free and smelly feet.

I wanna love

2008-11-10T20:06:00.005+11:00

i wanna be yours" by John Cooper Clarke

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust

If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away

Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion

Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean

“this type of love” by saul williams

I want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name.
and shit- I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you and I barely made it out of my garage.

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love or who loves the other more or what she’s doing at this exact moment or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts.
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she’s not there and shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.

And check this-

I wanna place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love
then not have enough ink in my pen to write all the love type love and hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel
and I wanna deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.
The only difference is this is one of those real type loves

and just like in high school I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit and then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me and smell her all up in my covers type love and I wanna try counting the ways I love her then lose count in the middle just so I could start all over again

and I wanna celebrate one of those one-month anniversaries even though they ain’t really anniversaries but doing it just ‘cause it makes her happy type love

and check this-

I wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays when our numbers dial in type love and talk to you until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me.

I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer ‘cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
and I don’t want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time to love you as long as I’d like to type love
and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love and I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair. Well maybe not all of the hair, maybe like I’d cut the split ends and trim the mustache but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.

I kind of feel comfortable now so I even be fantasize about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory, get transported to some third world country just to get treated and somehow meet up again with you so I could fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love.

I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is

dead number

2008-11-08T19:55:00.002+11:00

I just checked out that my maxis number is dead already.
Last month it still have reception and all.
Now its thoroughly gone.
Seriously, I hate changing numbers.

I can't believe I'm left with less than a week before I'm flying home.
I suddenly feel like I have so many things I have to do and still want to do before I go home.

Two more papers to go...
HANG IN THERE!

killing me softly

2008-11-04T17:55:00.003+11:00

I'm so BORED yet I'm in the midst of exams

4 subjects in 3 weeks.
Big stretch in between the first two subjects.

I'm only having my second exam tomorrow but my other housemates and friends are already finishing.

aRGHHH..............!!!!!!

When you have all your subjects close together, you suffer and complain.
When you have them spread out, you still suffer and complain.

a salsa b'day

2008-11-03T13:11:00.007+11:00

We went to Lygon Street for dinner to celebrate S's 21th birthday.
Lygon's full of Italian and Indian food.
We went to this specific Italian restaurant because there was this waiter caught all my friends' eye.

Yes.. yes. Another "cute boy" situation for them.
At least we had complimentary champagne, which sucked.
The food was not too good either.

After that, S insisted to go to Nightcats which was a bar at Brunswick Street.
After a long hunt for it, we finally reached there and it was Salsa night.
It was really different and fun.
Thank god I knew some basic steps.
Everybody dancing were in partners so tons of single UGLY guys came to ask us to dance with them.
My friends were complaining the all the guys were fuck ugly and that all the cute boys were in the House clubs.
It was a good experience though. I danced with a couple of lousy dancers and a couple of decent ones. The last guy I danced with was fantastic. I had such a hard time keeping up.
He was like pulling, flinging and spinning me all the way...
I almost drop dead after that.
I'm glad that S had so much fun.

p.s: My next resolution:
Learning to be more versatile and mastering in other sorts of dances.

Halloween & ugly people

2008-11-01T15:39:00.004+11:00

Halloween was fun.

We did not dress up and so we ended up looking at those who did.
My cousin was saying "The uglier the girl, the sluttier she'll dress up"
Which seem kinda true in a certain extent of sluttiness too.
Seriously, I could not even spot a decent looking pretty girl in the club last night. I gave up looking at the guys of course.
Seven is always filled with Asians but today, it seems as though all the ugly people decided to show up.
What made things worse was that Djs were horrible to compliment the other ugly people, I guess.

Apart from that, I had fun though, catching up with my cousin and friends. I haven't seen them in ages. I did not even get tipsy despite drinking quite a bit. This time it was my turn to see all the guys get drunk instead. haha. Especially Prashan, the guy who got me drug. He was so wasted, spitting all over the streets.

p.s: I forgot to mention that I confronted a MIDGET! heh. My naughty cousin kept yelling "midget" from afar...

everthing is never enough

2008-10-31T16:28:00.003+11:00

Is there more to life?

second thoughts

2008-10-30T01:51:00.004+11:00

or maybe I was just too engrossed into my thoughts and was thinking too much.

Slap my face,
and I'm falling straight right
back to reality...

p.s: just can't wait for exams to be over. Currently in a dilemma on whether to celebrate Halloween. nothing to wear.. nothing to wear... was thinking to wearing my leopard print bra but got no tight leather pants. damn...no time to buy.. ish. Don't go la

a conflicted heart

2008-10-29T17:31:00.008+11:00

Wake me up...
Call me crazy...
Call me insane...
Call me stupid...
Say that I'm outta my mind...
Tell me I'm unreasonable, please...

It's not that I believe in fairy tales.
It's not that I believe in happy ever after.
It's not that I wanna hurt myself too.

just because I think we could be forever...
but not together for now.

p.s (thoughts behind my head ): lemme play along... I promise I won't get hurt. heh

oh my exams...

2008-10-28T19:50:00.004+11:00

I had my exam in a food court
but is seem pretty high class though because it's in the Caulfield Racecourse.

It's weird because they were using cloth to hang up the clocks in front which does not face straight because of the cloth twirling around

I've never seen so many people taking an exam at the same time.
We practically took up the whole row of buildings.

I haven't sat for an exam for almost a year. I sat down calming myself down during the reading time. My heart was beating so fast. Seriously, its good that they created such things. If not, I'll always be freaking out. My heartbeat came steadier as I began to write.

It felt good though, after the 10 minutes of just flicking through the paper. I seem to enjoy exams because you're in control for that 2-3 hours to determine your results. Plus, everything will just flow out. Everything that you have read and all. Just vomit all out because I don't wish to go over it again. However, the studying process is horrible.

horny bastards

2008-10-27T22:07:00.002+11:00

This is the 2nd time some random dude add me in msn asking for sex since I came here.
I have no idea how did they get access to my contact...

loving your pear-shaped body

2008-10-27T12:13:00.012+11:00

I think this is something only girls can appreciate...
especially when you meet these criteria s.
(Just meet most of them the you can carry on reading)

Pear shapes usually have:

A bottom heavy shape
Thin and slender neck
Narrow or sloping shoulders
Larger and more generous lower hips and thighs

You definitely have a curvy bottom half, with rounded hips and full thighs.
For me, I have all of it except the 3rd one. I have nice shoulders. heh

Don't get confuse yourself between an apple and a pear OK. Even if you have huge boobs, it does not make you an apple. Just look at the picture then you should be able to figure it out.

"The pear shape is the most common shape in women, as the hips are unfortunately the place where excess weight usually goes first, however, this is not unattractive as it highlights the differences between men and women (which is key to sexual attraction)"

After all your episodes of "I hate that my butt is so big", here are some sexy celebrities who do have the same body shape as you.

Don't believe? Why do you think she's so flat? Check out her thighs & hips when she's wearing her bikini. I doubt if she were to be a tube/ ruler shaped she would such big thighs. (for her size of course)

Other famous people:
- Jennifer Lopez
- Rihanna
- Paris Hilton
- Heidi Klum

"A common misconception is that Pear Shaped people are overweight. This is simply untrue! Many people who are skinny are Pear Shaped, like Keira Knightly for example. Very thin girl, but every extra ounce goes right to the upper thigh.

Pear Shaped is similar to Hourglass Shaped, but people with an Hourglass figure have wider hips than upper thigh. Once your thigh measurement is more than hip measurement, you have gone over to the Pear Shaped side of the figure map.

Another misconception is that you have to have very narrow shoulders and small breasts to be Pear Shaped. This is also untrue. The most important thing to classify one as Pear Shaped, is to have wider thighs than hips."

Here are some dresses that you can look out for that will suit your body.

Then again, please watch you weight or you'll end up like this..

Yes.. yes.. the all "famous" Britney Spears.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hit the gym, it'll be good for you.
Look at how hot Britney can get.. yum yumm.

who could have imagined?

2008-10-26T17:16:00.004+11:00

The following quote was printed in the book The Clitoral Truth by Rebecca Chalker; it originally appeared in a letter in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 175, Sept 1996 page 753.

"We recently observed a female fetus at 32 weeks' gestation touching the vulva with fingers of [her] right hand. The caressing movement was centered primarily on the region of the clitoris. Movements stopped after 30 to 40 seconds, and started again after a few moments. Further, these light touches were repeated and were associated with short, rigid movements of the pelvis and legs. After another break, in addition to this behavior, the fetus contracted the muscles of the trunk and limbs, and the climax, clonicotonic movements [rapid muscle contractions] of the body, followed. Finally she relaxed and rested. We [several doctors and the mother] observed this behavior for about 20 minutes."

This raises the possibility that infant girls, as well as boys, may have some sexual awareness at birth. They may already know what sexual pleasure is and how to obtain it. Is it possible that fetal thumb sucking and masturbation are equally necessary and beneficial to the developing fetus? When an infant girl touches her vulva is she just then becoming aware of it or is she demonstrating what she learned or knew prior to birth? What are the psychological consequences of pushing her hand away? Would we do the same if she were sucking on her thumb? This one obscure record of fetal sexuality challenges our perceptions of human sexuality, if it does not in fact destroy them.

p.s: Honestly, I totally freaked out after reading this...

the never ending chase

2008-10-25T10:11:00.006+11:00

People always want things that they can't reach
but once they have it, they wont appreciate it.

In the attempt to get it, they go all out, having to find all means and ways to have/catch it.
but why do they get bored when they finally have it?
Shouldn't they appreciate it more?
Maybe it's just human nature,
to not want to feel obligated to it
by feeling that all freedom is lost.

Is it just the challenge of getting it that makes it exciting?
Or is it just greed?

Once they get so familiar with it, they'll slowly let loose and
when it finally runs away,
they'll wanna chase it all over again...

when the truth unfolds

2008-10-24T11:56:00.003+11:00

I'm so sorry for causing so much trouble by adjusting my blog as a private one.

I know you have to take the trouble to access to your Google account and all.
but I'm just doing this because I don't one some random people to be offended or hurt because of the things I say.

If you really wanna know, just ask me personally because I'm still NOT trusting the permission mode for blogger yet.

Thanks to those who are willing to still drop by ones in a while but it doesn't matter if you don't want to.

in a sexist society

2008-10-23T01:19:00.015+11:00

Why do people still have such stereotypical thinking and mindsets?

Just last night I overheard a conversation between D and S which was in Malay.
S was mentioning that men really respect girls who are still virgins especially those who are able to keep 'it' until they get married.
She was also saying how guys treat virgins better compared to non-virgins.

What do you think?
What if it was a guy instead?
I'm guessing most of you will be thinking it doesn't matter for guys, right? (The more he sleeps around, the more experienced he is in pleasing you?)

Hang on a minute, what about girls?
As a girl, wouldn't you want to be knowledgeable and skillful to please your partner too?
Why do you think some husbands cheat on their wives for hotter or younger girls (maybe more skillful ones)?

Why can't people think equally for both the male and female species?
Why should the female species be created when they can't have equal rights compared to males???

Anyway,

So what if you (boy/girl) keep your virginity until get married?
Like I said, it doesn't mean the marriage is gonna last. There's always such things as divorce, affairs and what is your partner turns gay?
Even when your dating and you're so sure he/she's the one? When things go wrong, there it goes.

Well,
Some people believe that you should test the water first before jumping in it.
I'm not suggesting that you test every puddle or mud, OK.
but..
and what if you got raped instead? Gang-banged?
So I'm guessing, if it was a girl, she'll be considered to be 'stained and dirty' forever?
and if it was a boy, it'll be like heaven for him, right?

Would you want to marry somebody who is still a virgin but unable to fulfill your sexual needs?
During your honeymoon, I'm sure you wouldn't want to find out that your partner is just unable to have sex?
or is just sexual handicapped.

You know what, talking about equal right for both sex reminds me of Sex and the City. I wish they produced more seasons and did not have to end.
Here are some hilarious quotes from them:

"When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psycho."

"Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?"

"Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls... because they can."

"I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want long as I can breathe and kneel."

"A guy can just easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth."

"Balls are to men what purses are to women."

smelling good

2008-10-22T14:51:00.006+11:00

and so I went to the City to settle my bank card and stumbled upon this huge sign on this shop that says

15% off all selected perfumes.
plus they had such a big collection
and the sale is only for 5 days.

Oh my god, I couldn't resist, heh.

and so,

pretty eh?

Seriously there so many others but I hate STRONG floral, sweet and fruity smells.
(kinda sounds as though I hate all smells)
yea, so there wasn't much choice for me. Everything the sales women recommended, I thoroughly pushed away but this particular one that I chose was really MILD, sweetish floral.
(seems like I'm contradicting what I like but seriously, its mild and really nice)

It reminds me of a nice sunny day in spring where you can wear your pretty dress and dance around with the wind blowing through your hair... :)

for all the wrong reasons

2008-10-21T12:20:00.007+11:00

Guys want love for sex
.
.
.
but

Girls want sex for love

so I'm guessing.. everybody gets hurt and fucked up

when technology gets frustrating

2008-10-21T12:02:00.004+11:00

This is the second time around that I've been having problems with my online banking.
I always have the habit of not writing down passwords to access important stuff because I somehow I have this mindset that it is just not safe as people might find it and access to your stuff and when it does happen, its all too late and your broke. Doomed forever by parents...
The thing is, I keep forgetting password...
and I thought banks have taken so much effort to increase their technology by having online and telephone banking so that we as customers, don't have to take the effort to line-up in long ques to do the old fashion way of face-to-face.

This sucks.
My exams start next week and now I have to go all the way to the city to unlock the damn thing.
What makes it more frustrating is that I'm left with only a dollar or two in my wallet and a standard train tickets (which are concessions, whom I am not even eligible for) are about 2-3 dollars.
Plus I'm owing money to my other housemates for bills and stuff.

I felt like such a bimbo when I called customer service again because they had a record of me calling the last time because I forgot my password AGAIN.
They even asked me whether was I a student.
This is discrimination mann... stereotyping the perception that students are foolish and dumb.

time is of the essence

2008-10-20T15:42:00.010+11:00

My really worried about exams
but I wonder why, deep down inside...

I'm wishing time would fly faster.

I look at the clock more often than my books.
It's so hard to concerntrate...
If only time did not exist,

How would that change things?

Su Jen... go study..!!!

why do all love songs make me think of you?
This sucks big time... I mean it
especially when most songs are about feelings for another, whether good or bad

a breath of fresh air

2008-10-18T22:37:00.003+11:00

Like I said... its spring now..
but its winter in my heart.

and just because I kissed a frog who turned into a handsome prince.

but it takes two hands to clap
by having distance as a bridge in between, I'm clapping alone again.

As cliche as it sounds,
Its better to have love and lost than to have never love at all.

I'm fine, really...
Just tired, tired of it all...

girls & shopping

2008-10-18T16:05:00.008+11:00

Why do girls love shopping so much?
.
.
.
because shopping makes girls feel beautiful
she'll realize that she doesn't have to have the 36-24-36 body to look fabulous

shopping makes girls feel like a princess
sales people are assisting her all the time and are so friendly and nice

shopping is like an aphrodisiac to a girl
trying sexy clothes makes her feel sexy. with the mirror in the changing room, she can do all her crazy, promiscuous posers.

shopping is like body art
then she'll realize shopping is about chasing fashion, being creative and putting a pieces together making it something exquisite.

shopping gives a boost to girls' confidence
it's alright to be fat, thin, tall or short because there are clothes that fit perfectly for everybody

shopping makes girls forget about all their problems and sorrow
when she's too intensely into searching for something or being amazed by all the wonderful things, she'll forget about what's hurting or troubling her the most.

shopping makes girls feel in control
I dunno how explain this. but it really does... haha

and even if she doesn't buy anything but tries all those pretty clothes, accessories, lingerie, cosmetics, SHOES .. etc. etc..

Ultimately, it makes girls feel HAPPY

p.s: so guys, if you wanna make your girl love you, you know what to do...
Bring them shopping!
take the effort comment on their dressing (good & honest comments of course)
.
and carry their shopping bags.. hee
Oh yea, and STOP complaining that we shop too much. If you want us to look good (so that you can show us off to your mates too) then let us shop to our heart's desire. hah

4 seasons love

2008-10-16T01:01:00.011+11:00

because Love is like four seasons too.

In spring, when flowers bloom and days are sunny, everything is fresh, lovely and nice.
Excitement comes when winds blow strongly.
Familiarizing with the bright skies puts a smile to everyone's face.
Every girl is dressed up in pretty dresses and bonnets, running around feeling so loved.

Summer comes when it gets hot and tense.
Things get serious and anxiety tightens.
Fun is the most while playing on the beach, sharing ice creams and cooling off in pools but
frustrations builds up when its burning up .

Autumn flows in when it cools down.
Everything seems more familiar and gloomy...
The only comfort is a simply warm hug.
The flowers and leaves slowly turn into dull colours.

When winter comes, everything gets too cold..
It dies off... in the chilly nights and when it gets dark,
you're all alone again...

angry with the world

2008-10-15T02:00:00.013+11:00

I don't see the point in feeling this way. It'll only hurt your soul and it won't change a thing.

but

I feel so ANGRY now. So frustrated and pissed off. I can feel the anguish burning up deep inside of me. Please get me outta this misery. It's killing me...
Is it me? or is it the everybody else?
You know, when some point in your life where all you want is to burst out and scream out lungs out into the sky or maybe in the toilet bowl.
Yea, here's that moment I'm having. Take it away... take it away. Turn it into dust and blow it far away from me.

For now, I'm going to sleep it off, in hoping tomorrow will be a bright sunny day and everything will be fine.

the unhappy sunny weekend

2008-10-13T11:15:00.006+11:00

Why are weekends always sunny and weekdays gloomy?

Why do I feel like I need some excitement in my life
when exams are so soon.
I wish everybody here would not be such a distraction...

(Why are my housemates still going to house parties and the beach?
Aren't they worried about exams?)

I feel tired of sitting here waiting for magic to happen
when I know I can't do anything about it.

I need to do well..
(if I wanna switch to a double degree)
I screw up my management assignment AGAIN!
I SERIOUSLY think my tutor hates me because
I followed exactly what had to be done in the examples

My law assignment went into the wrong tutors hands too.
She gave us bad marks when my tutor would have given us a D for it.
Plus my partner kept complaining to my tutor.
I'm so worried that she'll make BOTH of us on his bad side
and it'll probably show on my final paper if HE marks it.
She wished my partner would have just kept her mouth shut.

Why am I so unlucky??
It's not that I'm stupid.. but because of all this
Now I have to really work my butt off... DAMN IT.

hibernating

2008-10-11T00:13:00.005+11:00

I won't be blogging too much from now onwards because exam's in the next 2 WEEKS..!!!
All the best to everybody else who are having exams soon too..
screw those who dont..

xoxo

hungry hungry hungry

2008-10-07T17:12:00.003+11:00

Past two days has been killing me.

The weather has suddenly turned cold again because of the rain.

It makes me feel so HUNGRY...!!!

OoH please stop me from eating... PLEASE...

Is there a way...???!!!

I was so hungry when I went to Coles today to get some groceries, I end up getting a lotta junk to please my taste buds.. Everything looked so nice and smelled HEAVENLY...
I'm so gonna be a big FAT PIG...

FAT PIG

FAT PIG

FAT PIG...!!!

pretty pink fat pig? Ok... That's not possible..

I need self control.. :(

p.s:
My college friends and I are already planing for our big end of the year gathering.. I'm so excited about it too...
It's been almost a year since I saw all of them. Miss them so much.
Although college was only a year, we still managed to hang around in such a big group. 16 of us, all together.

zouk out

2008-10-05T16:40:00.004+11:00

To my dear high school friends,

Interested in going to the Zouk Out at Siloso Beach on the 13th of December??!!
Last year, Armin, Booka Shade, DJ Steve Aoki and tons more were there. I hope it'll be better this year.

It'll be fun. We'll be walking around with our bikini's and going crazy.

For more info,
http://www.zoukout.com/

There're are videos and pictures in the website.

p.s: so excited for exams to end...!

F-I-N-E

2008-10-04T17:46:00.003+10:00

My headache went away after my nap, I think.

It would have been better without the 'interruption'.

I wish I went out last night. I'm sure my cousin and friends were pissed drunk.

Holidays are going to be over soon... :(

blowing up head

2008-10-04T12:17:00.006+10:00

I still feel awful.

I was suppose to meet my cousin in seven last night but I couldn't even bring myself to take a shower.

I don't think its fever but I I'm just having such a bad headache.

My eyes are red but I definitely had enough sleep.

I feel so weak but I've been eating a lot.

I can feel my carotid pulse beating so hard, I think its gonna burst.

What's wrong with me?

I feel bored and sad but I have so much work to do.

Please kill me...

S just came back from seeing her dad so the house's noisy again
but all I feel is to jump outta the balcony like what they always joke about..

I hope I'll fall on the fence and die...

.
.
.
.
.
.
I read a Malaysian news today.
A girl got abducted and beaten up in BBU.
Brought all the way to Kempas and was gang raped.

She was unconscious the whole time until she woke up at 4am finding blood at her private parts.

Only 2 SUSPECTS were caught.

.

I hope the rest burn and die in hell.

losing an hour?!

2008-10-03T20:39:00.004+10:00

Daylight saving starts this Sunday at 2am...!

Being such a bimbo, I have no idea why do we need to tune time an hour later.
I guess I shall check on that.

It ends on the 5th of April next year.

p.s: ok, don't start explaining it to me on my tagboard because I'll definitely look it up on wikipedia or something.. :P

shopped till I almost drop

2008-10-03T19:42:00.010+10:00

I went to Chapel Street today. I was suppose to go yesterday because the weather was fabulous but I woke up with a heat rush. It gave me a bad headache. It's the stupid heater, I think.

As soon as I stepped out today, I knew it was going to rain soon as it was so cloudy plus windy. When I reached there it started to drizzle but luckily the shops were all along the road so I just had to keep going in them to keep myself dry. hee.. good excuse.

As I went straight after my lunch, I felt so undigested because of the walking and my vest was making it worse because it was so tight. I think I put on weight..!! sobs..
I bought I couple of pretty dresses from Bardot and Supre and a pair of Novo's by Gisele Bundchen. They're like 10 times more comfortable then my stupid Vincci that I had last year. There were a lot of other designs but I still think this one fits my feet best. They did not have as much variety in the shop.
You can always check out the others in the Novo page.
http://www.novoshoes.com.au/

Seriously, the rain made I feel so terrible. I was so scared that I would faint in the middle of the streets.

love letter

2008-10-01T21:55:00.003+10:00

Be calm;

for only by calmly considering our lives can we achieve our purpose to live together- -
Be calm--love me--Today--yesterday--what tearful longing for you--for you--you--my life--my all--all good wishes to you--Oh, do continue to love me--never misjudge your lover's most faithful heart.

ever yours

ever mine

ever ours...

reaching home

2008-10-01T01:27:00.004+10:00

i miss home..

yes... I FINALLY said it.

I miss the weather...

I miss the food... (so sick of cooking)

I miss my friends... (in high school & college)

I miss my room...

I miss my parents...

I miss my dear...

I miss HOME...!!!

It's official.!

Going back on the 14th of November.

Taking a 17:05 Qantas flight from Melbourne to Singapore at 21:30.
(I know Qantas is crappy and is still having lotsa service problems but it was the cheapest flight under my Uni's agent so don't blame me if my flight is delayed or if I landed in the wrong place like the sea or some mountain or not land at all)

asshole

2008-09-30T01:26:00.003+10:00

Miranda: I'm an asshole

Steve: Yea, you are but you're my asshole.

Miranda: That's sweet and disgusting at the same time.

from Sex & the City

work work work

2008-09-29T16:40:00.005+10:00

I'm suppose to do work + assignments + preparations for exam but
I keep thinking of going out

keep thinking of having company

keep thinking of buying something nice

keep thinking of running around outside

keep thinking of my lumpy self

keep thinking of reasons for me feeling sad

I am bored..
.
.
.
.
bored...bored... BORED...!!!

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part.

in short

2008-09-28T22:16:00.002+10:00

Lunch in Glenhuntly

Chilled in Beer Garden at St Kilda

Dinner at TGI Fridays in Chapel Street

Movie at Jam Factory (Caught stupid "House Bunny")

Caught in the rain and all drenched wet at home

long day

2008-09-28T11:25:00.004+10:00

Yesterday was extremely exhausting for me. I had to take a panadol in between to survive through it.

We went to catch the Royal Melbourne Show which was an annual event held here. It's pretty outta town so we had to take the train there. On the way to the city, it was freaking crowded with people wearing blue or yellow, all heading towards Richmond for the footy finals. Footy's a very big thing in Melbourne. People here really go all out to support their favorite teams. Even my cousin ditched me to go for the finals with his friends. :(

The carnival ground.. p.s: I'm really starting to hate the peace sign.

The Cola Arena. They have horses here which are ridden by pros.

So I ended up going with Wendy and a couple of her friends. Deep down inside I was so hoping that she would not bring anybody from China but she did. It's not that I'm so against them but they're just people who tend to stick so much to themselves and they're like so timidly sissy. I can't stand it. They would not even want to ride any of the rides saying that they're too scared blah blah blah...

Honestly, it was pretty OK. I did not really have that much fun because everybody seem so unenthusiastic to do anything but just complain about the weather and being tired. Half the time we were walking round and round looking for places that we wanna go to catch certain shows.

Me and my baby goat

There're actually tons of baby pigs behind us.

My favorite part of the day. Hitting some balls in the baseball cage. I think I was like the only Asian girl who went for it... hee. Miss a couple of balls because I was so rusty but managed to hit a couple a least.

Seriously, they have so many events there. From animal shows to carnival games to small booths selling stuff and food to roller coaster rides and tons more. I would consider going there again next year with much better company though.

That night, we went to Derabin Arts and Theater for Shanti's indian dance performance. We were late and had to sneak in to the back seats. We managed to watch the other dances but they were all really traditional indian dances. This is the first time seeing so many Indians gathered together like that in Melbourne. haha. Shanti was a awesome though.

By the way, I locked myself outta my room and had to stand under the rain and wind at 12 midnight to wait for the Monash security.

a little adventure

2008-09-24T20:27:00.005+10:00

As you all know, I have an extremely bad sense of direction so I had to print out a map to get to the nearest Post Office.
I woke up early this morning to take that little journey while the sun is still shining and the weather is still warm.

I'm staying at the little red dot just beside Emo Road. haha. Cute name for a street, huh? I had to point it out. Anyway, this is my neighborhood with a big park in the middle which I have never seen before because I'm too lazy to just walk there. Monash University is actually across the Princess Highway so it's actually just a short walk from my place to Uni.

Anyway, after the half an hour walk back and forth, I finally got my prize...!!!

heee.. cool huh. My legs look extra short though. I think its because of the camera angle.

damn the weather again

2008-09-22T19:57:00.005+10:00

Melbourne Forecast

summary	Tue Sep 23	Wed Sep 24	Thu Sep 25	Fri Sep 26	Sat Sep 27	Sun Sep 28	Mon Sep 29
summary	Showers	Mostly sunny	Mostly sunny	Late shower	Showers	Showers	Possible shower
maximum	17°C	19°C	24°C	25°C	18°C	18°C	17°C
minimum	8°C	7°C	9°C	12°C	12°C	10°C	8°C

	9am	3pm	9am	3pm	9am	3pm	9am	3pm	9am	3pm	9am	3pm	9am	3pm
chance of rain	40%		20%		10%		60%		70%		50%		40%
likely amount	<>		<>		<>		1-5mm		5-10mm		<>		<>
uv index	Moderate		High		High		High		Moderate		Moderate		High
frost risk	Nil		Nil		Nil		Nil		Nil		Nil		Nil
wind speed	11 km/h	5 km/h	7 km/h	6 km/h	18 km/h	19 km/h	23 km/h	19 km/h	5 km/h	13 km/h	13 km/h	11 km/h	n/a	n/a
wind direction	W	WSW	NW	NW	N	N	NNW	WNW	WSW	WSW	SW	S	n/a	n/a
relative humidity	62%	43%	41%	34%	48%	39%	46%	30%	87%	44%	55%	36%	n/a	n/a
dew point	3°C	2°C	3°C	3°C	6°C	7°C	9°C	6°C	9°C	4°C	6°C	3°C	n/a	n/a

This so annoying... Look at the temperature difference between the maximum & the minimum temperature!
The weather is starting to annoy me again. It's suppose to be spring!!!
It was sunny this morning and when I came outta lecture.. But when I came outta lecture..it was pouring and I was freezing my ass off. I had to get my friend to send me home because I forgot to bring my stupid umbrella.

I'm still freezing here... It's suppose to be spring! I wore a pretty scarf on my head today and it fucking blew off when I came out. Sheesh... !!!

It's so cold I refused to go to Clayton for class...

assignments

2008-09-20T20:29:00.004+10:00

Assignments... assignments... assignments...!!!

p.s: picture's from deviant art.. so yea, I'm not a smoker.

pretty flowers

2008-09-18T22:13:00.008+10:00

Everyday when I walk to school, I always pass by peoples' houses and their unkempt gardens. You may assume that it might be an ugly sight but honestly, it's not because the weather really affects the flowers, trees and grass. Today, there were pretty yellow flowers on the grass. I'm sure it wasn't there yesterday but it was there this morning!

I was so amazed I had to stop and take a photo.

so cute right?

dilemma

2008-09-18T22:13:00.003+10:00

Would you choose to explore or be more successful?

Would you choose to open your mind or fit in?

Would you choose to stay or go?

A double degree with CPA or single degree with a US masters?

BIG DILEMMA!!!

i wonder

2008-09-17T00:54:00.004+10:00

Ever wished for a prettier you?

a thinner you?

to be so sure?

when love is enough?

to find true and everlasting happiness?

it's not car this time

2008-09-15T21:30:00.003+10:00

I was on my way to Clayton as usual, taking the shuttle bus. As soon as I arrived, I quickly walk down the bus and directly towards the Uni when somebody called me from behind. Oh no, it's the same China guy who stopped me last week

Stupid China guy: Excuse me.. er.. last week.. we same bus! same bus twice! ah.. I see you again.. every time I take tis bus.. er.. can I have your number? ah.. if you no boyfriend.. er.. you veli beautiful.. I think you veli.. er.. my type.. I no selling.. no promoting.. I wanna be friend. Can give me number? er..I not promoting product.. Can ar? your number?

Me: (looking confuse and trying to process what he was talking about) Erm.. I have a boyfriend.

Stupid China guy: Oh... I think I bad luck today ar... veli bad luck. Nevermind ar.. thank you.

I really admire his guts mann... England so fucked up also dare to ask for number. *faints

love

2008-09-15T10:32:00.004+10:00

Everybody deserves to love to be loved.

Don't regret of the times of happiness just because you're in pain.
Don't forget the sweet words that made you feel complete just because you're never hearing them again.
Don't throw away the things that you hold so deeply just because it's all over.

It's alright to cry. It's alright to feel pain. It's alright to feel hurt.
It may seem like the end of the world, like apart of you is torn off and time would seem to pass so slowly.
Easier said then done, just take your time, as long as you need to heal your broken heart but don't lose track of time and your future. Let it be an inspiration, a motivation and mainly a lesson. Don't hurt yourself for it. It may seem right to you but others might think you're a fool. After all, they're plenty of fishes in the sea. Live your life!

I never believed in the one. I don't encourage you to believe in it too. If it does not work, accept it and let it go. Things happen for a reason. Just trust your instincts. Before you know it, you'll be head over heels on cloud 9 again. :)

Dedicated to all the broken hearts in the world.. *hugs and kisses

blissful trip

2008-09-15T00:41:00.003+10:00

Have you ever thought of an ideal holiday? A getaway from all the stress, sorrows and pain of life.

My ideal trip would be on the beach where and sun is shining brightly to warm your skin but not too bright to hurt you. Where the winds would blow softly through your hair and while you close your eyes, you could hear the sounds of the waves from the ocean.

We would have a rented villa with a bunch of my friends there. Maybe twenty or more, running around in our bikini's and Speedo's, warming our feet on the sand. We would have beach games of course and play until the sun sets and we'll watch it while leaning closely among each other or our lovers.

We would have a fabulous barbecue dinner together. Cooking and laughing together, not being afraid of dirtying ourselves. We would have candles lighted up on the tables and we would drink to our hearts desire.

As it gets dark, we would play in the house, get pissed drunk, play truth or dare, dance around with the music blasting loudly or simply chilling around and catching up with each other. Finally, we will fall fast asleep all around the house together.

It really seems a little like my redang trip with my college friends last year. My god, how I really miss my friends and the warm weather.

gladiator craze

2008-09-14T18:51:00.007+10:00

I went to ebay a few days ago and purchased two pairs of gladiator sandals!
They are so freaking cheap compared to those that are selling here like in Sports Girl, a normal pair would cost at least 60 dollars or more. What a rip off right.
These two pairs are very simple looking ones but I love them.!

This is mid calf pair.
It cost only 24 dollars!

and these a pair of gladiator flats.
20 dollars!

But they still can't beat the Steve Madden pair I bought. Got it for a good price because I'm VIP. Even Kate Moss is wears it! hee.. Mine's white though

Check out the other celebs wearing gladiators too.

Yea.. yea. Apparently, the Olsen twin is a gladiator icon.
I wish the stupid weather will be warmer and STAY warm or else I won't be able to wear them.

tegan and sara

2008-09-13T19:28:00.001+10:00

Tegan and Sara Australian Tour 2009

Tegan and Sara

8 Jan Metro Theatre NSW
9 Jan The Palace Theatre VIC
11 Jan HQ SA

Tegan and Sara Australian Tour 2009
Tegan and Sara @ The Palace Theatre

9 Jan 2009

ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn it la... I'm not around...

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

real sign of spring

2008-09-12T17:45:00.004+10:00

I was awoken by Monica's message at 8 am this morning! Stupid girl does not seem to understand the beauty of sleep.
She insisted on going for the earlier class so that we could work on our 2nd Commercial Law assignment after that.

On the way to Uni, it was so windy.. I really do mean EXTREMELY windy..!! I was almost blown off the pathway. Flowers from trees and dust were all blowing all around me. I thought my hair was gonna get pulled off and I had to keep my head down so that the dirt won't get blown into my eyes. I was struggling to go to Uni, seriously.

In the late evening on the way back, it was so warm. I never felt so warm before. The sun was still shining but it feel W-A-R-M. I think it was about 23 degrees? I was so happy. I think this time Monica thought I was crazy.

I'm sitting currently sitting at my balcony enjoying the weather. :)

along with the stupid view in front of me...

P.S: I guess Monica's not so bad after all. We got a HD for our first assignment. Half a mark away from 100%. Can you believe it.. :)

studying companion

2008-09-11T21:53:00.002+10:00

This is official my favorite studying companion:

So delicious!

So comforting!

So FATTENING!!!

single or attached

2008-09-10T23:11:00.010+10:00

It's not that I don't like being attached or don't enjoy being attached.

I don't want to make it seem like I'm restricted from doing or saying certain things.

It's really odd you know, like all of my housemates are single, horny and crazy except for Dineo who is married and has kids.
Just a while ago, they were talking about a fuck list; a list compromising guys they don't mind fucking whether celebrities or guys they do know. It seems fun to talk and laugh about it but I'll feel weird joining them because I would feel somewhat guilty talking about it. It's not just about this kinda small things that make me feel weird, you know.

The single girls are always talk about the opposite sex. Everything is about a CUTE guy. Always... They'll be screaming and talking to loudly about it. If not, it's always somehow about sex although only one of them is sexual active.

I'm in my late teens turning into my 20's soon. Am I missing out on things by being attached? Moreover in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR)? It's not all about boys only but what about other things in my life?

I know it's really unfair to my other half for me to talk about this so often but I do wonder about it a lot of times although I know he's really good and understanding and reasonable and not controlling kind which I am extremely grateful about. Even so, I can't imagine him being out of my life. It'll feel so incomplete because our relationship has already grown in me. Taking it away would be breaking my arm off or something. I wish he was here with me though, things would be so wonderful...

Since young, I'm not exact the boy crazy type, I guess. I do have my limits. I'll probably have crushes once in a while but definitely not going crazy for every cute guy that passes me.

When I first arrived here, one of the very first questions asked by my housemates were whether I was single and when they found out I was in a LDR for the next two years, Shanti was like "In the mean time, YOU need to get some action...".

I have to admit, I do check out other guys but most of those that I'm attracted to are those with similar traits as YOU. It might be the height or the hair or the dressing style. It's so weird. I tend to check out cute Chinese guys then White guys although there are tons of cute white boys whom my housemates go drooling after.
In the mean time, I guess I'll have to pretend YOU're here, somehow... although I wish YOU were really here...

P.S: I feel bad talking about this over and over again. Been blogging too much about my relationship. I promise I'll calm down for a while.

pussy cats

2008-09-09T00:02:00.005+10:00

Please start falling in love with cats after looking through this post...

Dedicated to all the cats in the world and especially to my late Fat Bastard (the only one that past peacefully) who left this world 2 years ago. May he rest in peace.

*hugs and kisses

(I miss your big tummy, your chubby cheeks, the way your body jiggles when you run to me, the way you like to rub your soft body on my legs and i miss cuddling you in my arms ... )