a glamorous future

In the next 10 years...

I will own 100 pairs or more of Jimmy Choo's and Manolo Blahnik's shoes

I will carry Birkin bags

I will drive Jaguars and Porsche's. (My husband will drive a Ferrari)

Each of my business phone calls will cost more than a $50,000 deal

I will eat in fancy restaurants everyday

I will have a walking closet as big as my current bed room.

I will have my own chef, designer/fashion stylist, a few french maids.

I will go for high tea with my other rich friends, buy art in auctions


I really really hope I can live in this kinda luxury in the next 10 years.

you know you love me

• Driving license renewed. CHECK
• new TV series. CHECK
• New permanent Malaysian number. CHECK (012 7711743)
• Collecting my Maybank debit card from mum. CHECK
• Signed up for gym membership. Erm.... Kinda CHECK
• Indirectly forced to go back to work in the gym.. DEFINITELY CHECK.

I felt so loved today when I went back to the gym. My colleagues all seem to miss me a lot. Hee.

I thought I could just join the student membership today and just go for a good workout but I ended up agreeing to my supervisor to work part time for my gym because they seem to lack a lotta staff ever since Danga City Mall reopened.

Great. Now I'll be working

Mon (6.30am-12pm)

Tue-Thurs (3pm-9pm)

At least I wouldn't be so bored during the holidays and I can earn extra money. Plus it wouldn't be so stressful as I won't be doing sales anymore. Just being in charge of the front desk.

home sweet home

It weird coming home.

My house never seem so big and pretty. My parent just got back from Bangkok so they bought a lotta stuff to decorate the house.

My fridge looks so huge like its gonna fall on me.

I can actually run across my room or maybe even live in it. The space... the space... mmMMmm!!

I feel warm most of the time. Weather is superb. Its been raining so its pretty cool.
My hair takes ages to dry up though and the toilet is always wet!!
I hate it because the toilet seat takes forever to dry up. Imagine feeling a wet bum all the time when you wanna pee.

and I never felt fatter.
OMFG... I almost died when I saw the face of the weighting machine while standing on it.
and my mum keeps insisting that I'm not fat because I know she loves me being chubby. HMPH!

Damn it.

People here should eat more.
It aint hot being skinny.
Ah lians... Ah bengs.... ewww!!!

guilt

I never realized how much clothes I had until today.

I always thought I did not have enough because every time I'm about to go out and deciding what to wear, I'll always be thinking that I've got NOTHING to wear.

Even my 3rd year housemate was amazed by the amount I had because I'll only be staying here for 6 months.

I dunno how to face my parents.
I dunno how am I gonna fit all this into my luggage.
I feel so bad putting so much things in my friends place when I go home.

OK, NO MORE shopping when I go back home.
.
.
.
.
erm.. OK, maybe once for the year end sale.

and THAT'S IT.




I hope.

i still believe

I still believe

in the innocence of every rebellious teenager

in the good in every evil

in the way we could change to whatever we wanna be

I still believe in real love...
not "he's the one" or anybody who comes along ends up being "the one".

Like what Carrie Bradshaw said:

“I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.”

A love with shared passion and pain.
Something real...
where it is more than just the communication or sex or the chemistry
where in 40 years after marriage, there will still be holding hands and missing each other.
A one who will make you feel complete and loves you for who you really are despite anything.


that kind of love.
I believe in it.


hopefully I'll have it in the next 10 years.

just like yesterday

I can't believe one semester has passed by just like that.

Moving towards another new year,

losing the front number "1" of my age.

learning to find myself

accepting more of who I am

understanding why things don't always go the way you want them to

knowing who are those who really matter in your life

and knowing who feels the same way too



Life is like a roaster coaster
there are always its ups and downs

Despite everything, I feel grateful for who I am,
where I am,
what I am.


I'm not saying I'm perfect.
I know there's always room for improvement in every way.

I'm grateful that "somebody up there" gave me my arms and legs
that he did not make me ugly
or stupid
that he made me healthy
that he made me a girl
and that he placed me in a good family

freedom

F-R-E-E-D-O-M

smell it!
feel it!
live it!

woot! woot!
Remember when you've been wearing a pair of pretty heels for the entire night while dancing and partying?
Your heel would feel so awful but you try to enjoy yourself and look pretty and after everything, you finally get to remove them...
Ahh..


That's what I'm feeling now...



















the Free and smelly feet.

I wanna love

i wanna be yours" by John Cooper Clarke

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust

If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away

Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion

Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean

“this type of love” by saul williams

I want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name.
and shit- I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you and I barely made it out of my garage.

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love or who loves the other more or what she’s doing at this exact moment or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts.
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she’s not there and shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.

And check this-

I wanna place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love
then not have enough ink in my pen to write all the love type love and hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel
and I wanna deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.
The only difference is this is one of those real type loves

and just like in high school I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit and then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me and smell her all up in my covers type love and I wanna try counting the ways I love her then lose count in the middle just so I could start all over again

and I wanna celebrate one of those one-month anniversaries even though they ain’t really anniversaries but doing it just ‘cause it makes her happy type love

and check this-

I wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays when our numbers dial in type love and talk to you until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me.

I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer ‘cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
and I don’t want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time to love you as long as I’d like to type love
and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love and I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair. Well maybe not all of the hair, maybe like I’d cut the split ends and trim the mustache but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.

I kind of feel comfortable now so I even be fantasize about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory, get transported to some third world country just to get treated and somehow meet up again with you so I could fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love.

I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is

dead number

I just checked out that my maxis number is dead already.
Last month it still have reception and all.
Now its thoroughly gone.
Seriously, I hate changing numbers.

I can't believe I'm left with less than a week before I'm flying home.
I suddenly feel like I have so many things I have to do and still want to do before I go home.

Two more papers to go...
HANG IN THERE!

killing me softly

I'm so BORED yet I'm in the midst of exams

4 subjects in 3 weeks.
Big stretch in between the first two subjects.

I'm only having my second exam tomorrow but my other housemates and friends are already finishing.

aRGHHH..............!!!!!!

When you have all your subjects close together, you suffer and complain.
When you have them spread out, you still suffer and complain.

a salsa b'day

We went to Lygon Street for dinner to celebrate S's 21th birthday.
Lygon's full of Italian and Indian food.
We went to this specific Italian restaurant because there was this waiter caught all my friends' eye.

Yes.. yes. Another "cute boy" situation for them.
At least we had complimentary champagne, which sucked.
The food was not too good either.

After that, S insisted to go to Nightcats which was a bar at Brunswick Street.
After a long hunt for it, we finally reached there and it was Salsa night.
It was really different and fun.
Thank god I knew some basic steps.
Everybody dancing were in partners so tons of single UGLY guys came to ask us to dance with them.
My friends were complaining the all the guys were fuck ugly and that all the cute boys were in the House clubs.
It was a good experience though. I danced with a couple of lousy dancers and a couple of decent ones. The last guy I danced with was fantastic. I had such a hard time keeping up.
He was like pulling, flinging and spinning me all the way...
I almost drop dead after that.
I'm glad that S had so much fun.

p.s: My next resolution:
Learning to be more versatile and mastering in other sorts of dances.

Halloween & ugly people

Halloween was fun.

We did not dress up and so we ended up looking at those who did.
My cousin was saying "The uglier the girl, the sluttier she'll dress up"
Which seem kinda true in a certain extent of sluttiness too.
Seriously, I could not even spot a decent looking pretty girl in the club last night. I gave up looking at the guys of course.
Seven is always filled with Asians but today, it seems as though all the ugly people decided to show up.
What made things worse was that Djs were horrible to compliment the other ugly people, I guess.

Apart from that, I had fun though, catching up with my cousin and friends. I haven't seen them in ages. I did not even get tipsy despite drinking quite a bit. This time it was my turn to see all the guys get drunk instead. haha. Especially Prashan, the guy who got me drug. He was so wasted, spitting all over the streets.


p.s: I forgot to mention that I confronted a MIDGET! heh. My naughty cousin kept yelling "midget" from afar...